A Plot to Ruin America March 28, 2006Posted by Evil Bender in bigotry, constiutional issues, sex, wingnuts.
I'm writing to share with you a threat to the very foundation of this country, a group of people who wish to inflict their deviant views on the rest of us. Not content merely to live their lives, they hope to convert are children to their way of thinking and force them to follow their twisted, immoral lead.
These people have already found support among the activist judiciary, as well as many state legislative bodies, and our congress. I suspect their conspiracy goes all the way to the president himself, though of course he denies it.
These people must be stopped. What follows is a catalogue of their agenda. I warn my readers that it is not for the faint of heart.
These people wish us all to engage in exactly the same sort of intercourse that they prefer. They want to bind us forever to a single partner, and to force sex to only be for the purpose of procreation. They believe, in some extreme cases, that every sperm is sacred, and that if you're not having sex to have kids with your spouse, you shouldn't be having sex at all.
As if this weren't enough, they wish to inflict these disgusting practices on the rest of us, forcing us to go without the Pill, without condoms, even without the rhythm method. Enjoy masturbation? You won't if these people are allowed in power. They're in our homes; they hate the laws that allow us to make our own choices about our sexuality.
These radical straights must be stopped. We must speak out now against this Straight Agenda.
Evil Bender asks that if you have experience with these people, if they've tried to "convert" you, or if you're aware of yet another instance–they're everywhere–where they are trying to push their agenda on us, please post here and bring it to my attention.