Notes from Evil Bender

WorldNutDaily is about as crazy as it gets. I don’t mean just garden-variety crazy, or even ultra-conservative crazy. I mean complete-breathless-panic-about-gays-and-terrorists-and-women-and-people-of-color crazy. So you can bet I was eager to see what WorldNutDaily has to say about the supposed epidemic of Hot Gay Sex in Fort Lauderdale:

Fort Lauderdale Mayor Jim Naugle says his city has a problem with “homosexual activity” in public restrooms and he has a plan to stop it – robotic toilets that allow occupants to stay inside for only a short time before the door automatically opens.

That’s right, folks, we’ll stop Teh Gay with auto-open toilets! What’s particularly great is how it contrasts with the very next paragraph:

“We’re trying to provide a family environment where people can take their children who need to use the bathroom without having to worry about a couple of men in there engaged in a sex act,” Naugle told the South Florida Sun-Sentinel.

Um, guys? Maybe having stall doors that auto-open isn’t the best way to protect kids from seeing things they should not in public restrooms.

The $250,000 self-cleaning robo-johns have been installed in San Francisco, Seattle, Atlanta and New York.

For that price, couldn’t they just have someone on duty to make sure no one is fooling around in the john?

Fort Lauderdale police officials said male sex in public restrooms is no longer a problem, but Naugle insists the practice persists and has used recent public meetings and e-mails to constituents to raise the issue.

On any other site, I’d take this as evidence that Naugle was being made fun of. On WND, home to such brilliant minds as Chuck Norris, it has the ring of fauning endorsement. Anything to stop Gayness!

Public restrooms are pickup places for “homosexuals. … They’re engaging in sex, anonymous sex, illegal sex,” he said.

Illegal because it’s in a public restroom? Or does Naugle just assume gay sex isn’t legal?

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Dean Trantalis, an openly homosexual former member of the City Commission who served with Naugle for three years, welcomes the restrooms at the beach but said the decision should not be made based on whether they will be used for sexual activity. “I’m not an expert on public toilet sex,” said Trantalis, “but there are those who would say one minute would be enough. Or 30 seconds.”

If approved by the City Commission, the timed toilets will be paid for with property-tax funds.

Fiscal conservatism in action!

[Edit: in related news, what is the word "sex" doing in quotation marks in this essay's title?]