What Does [sic] the NIV, the Satanic Bible, and Gay Sex Have in Common? April 2, 2009
Posted by Evil Bender in language and lit, Religion, wingnuts.trackback
…such is the question posed by this totally awesome and not at all insane website.
According to Wikipedia.org, the New International Bible (NIV) is the most popular Bible version today. What Zondervan Publishers won’t DARE tell you is that they are OWNED by Harper Collins, who also publishes The Satanic Bible and The Joy of Gay Sex. Doesn’t it seem odd to anyone with a brain and a love for Christ that the world’s largest Bible publisher (Zondervan) is owned by the same company, HarperCollins, that publishes The Satanic Bible and The Joy of Gay Sex.” Every pastor and Christian using the NIV are supporting these demonic publications. Furthermore, the Jehovah’s Witnesses’ New World Translation comes from same Greek manuscripts as does the NIV! The Jehovah’s Witnesses’ Interlinear Greek New Testament is based upon the corrupt Greek of Westcott and Hort, openly admitted in front of the publication. This is unbelievable folks! Destroy your NIV.
Sweet Zombie Jesus, the only thing more hilarious than a white-text-on-black-background, Catholic church is Satan, crazy-ass Christianist website is a white-text-on-black-background, Catholic church is Satan, crazy-ass Christianist website that’s part of the King James Version or Death movement.
I think the level of stupidity required to believe that the KJV is the “right” translation of the Bible is probably even more overwhelming than YEC beliefs require. After all, one doesn’t need to know any science to know that a politically driven, woefully out-of-date translation of poor manuscripts is ridiculous beyond belief.
I can’t wait to dig through the rest of this site’s heaping bowl of crazy.
[h/t Debunking Christianity]
[UPDATE: So awesome: "If the Bible that we hold in our hands is not inspired, then let's just throw it into the garbage and go buy the latest New York Times Bestseller to read instead." Preach it!]
Ummm, don’t you know that the King James version is the original manuscript written by Jesus himself?
You didn’t mention the best part of this whole website- the cartoon near the bottom showing Satan, the Pope, and what looks to be Henry Kissinger holding the NIV.
Actually, if one is a JW (I am) there is something nice about having a dedicated publishing channel, so that any contribution (in the case of the NIV, the purchase price) does not end up indirectly supporting causes and viewpoints with which one is at odds.
Ty–oddly, this guy seems to be perfectly aware of some aspects of how the manuscript came to be, and STILL thinks its inspired. Which just makes this all the stranger…
Green Eagle: keep digging! you think that’s the best part, but there’s also “proof” that Michelle Obama is a Satanist, and “10 proofs evolution is a lie,” complete with only 9 items. I haven’t even scratched the surface of the most hilarious parts yet, I think.
EB: read your answer. Actually, I’m not aware of just what I should be aware of, as I more or less just stumbled across this blog and know little about it. What should I be aware of?
“Evil Bender teaches in an English department, dabbles in science and enjoys calling out bigots, hate-mongers, liars and idiots. He was born on the Great Plains and currently lives in Kansas, with a member of Lizard Royalty, two dogs and two cats. He may also be a robot from the 31st Century.”
Ah – already I see we have much in common. I speak English (sort of), I like science, I don’t like bigots, hate-mongers, liars, and/or idiots. (actually, idiots are not so bad in themselves; it’s belligerant idiots that are rough), I was born near the Great Lakes, and I have two cats. And I’m thinking of buying one of those robots that vacuums the floor.
Tom, let me guess…
You’re a JW that googles any mention of the New World Translation and goes to defend it on websites.
And JW’s are creationists, which makes your claim of ‘liking’ science highly dubious.
Oh, and we’re all goats here, just so you know. Belligerent goats.
“You’re a JW that googles any mention of the New World Translation and goes to defend it on websites”……………..On occasion
“And JW’s are creationists, which makes your claim of ‘liking’ science highly dubious”…………………….No
“Oh, and we’re all goats here, just so you know. Belligerent goats”………Okay
You people are so deceived it isn’t funny, it’s sad.
Wait until you find out the truth, that the fossil record is actually in no way what is claimed by evolutionists, that geologists, paleontologists, and zoologists simply date their evidence with circular testimony.
Wait until you find out that your precious hippy dipstick drug culture is warmed over rubbish from Satanists Aleister Crowley and Tim Leary. Your so called brilliant philosophy is asinine trash from Karl Marx and the demon controlled Noam Chomsky.
You whores probably laugh at Jews and Christians and then bow down to the Dalai Lama. Why? Because you are satanized little dipsticks, that’s why, and you are dumb and CONFORMIST to see it.
Don’t just go buy some more black crap from the local mall and then pathetically pander for each others approval and communal reinforcement — “please somebody accept me tell me I’m clever”
REPENT REPENT REPENT
Your Father in heaven DOES still love you, albeit he can’t stand the filthy site of you, being a pathetic mockery and a sham of what He created you to become.
Go wash in the blood on the Lamb, Yeshua the Anointed One, and beg the Son of Elohim for your cleansing and renewal.
Otherwise, you will be tossed in rubbish and burned.
I don’t know which is more hilarious, the insanity, the poor grammar, or the hypocritical professions of god’s love.
Three way tie?
Murph – Can you without the use of the bible prove the existance of God? I’ll bet you can’t as it has never been done. And without proof of this, how can you possible believe anything written in the bible??
What good is correcting the words if you keep the same pagan doctrine of the council of Nicea and of the satanic Catholic (Universal) church? You can talk about how you want to be correct and you can gather all the knowledge you want but the word of God says to be a DOER of the word. You can attribute the name of Jesus to Satan but that will not make Satan God. The word of God is simple, Jesus says, “Why do you say you love me when you don’t keep my commandments?” Did he say, “It doesn’t matter what you believe as long as you use the right religious words?”
What makes a person a child of God as opposed to a child of Satan? Understanding Acts 2:38 for what it simply says is everything. Obedience to the apostle’s doctrine and the filling of the Holy Spirit, is true worship in spirit and truth. Satan is a master at getting the most well meaning people to pursue the wrong line of reason.
If you haven’t obeyed the truth, what difference are you making to God? He won’t accept anyone who isn’t born again of water and Spirit. Acts 2:38 is the most rejected and twisted verse in the bible even by those who claim to oppose the satanic infiltration of the church. Obedience to Acts 2:38 is what separates those who are chosen from those who are rejected by God.
Yes, God is a loving Savior but his holiness is more sacred to him than man. This is why he, God himself, manifested himself in flesh and shed his blood for our sins. This is why we have been told by satanic men dressed in religious garb that we are to be baptized not in Jesus’ name but in a trinity. They want to shut the gate of heaven to all who follow them for they don’t even want to enter themselves.
The truth given to the apostles, whose doctrine we are to abide in according to Acts 2:42, is to 1) Repent (Turn from your own sinful and rebellious ways) 2) Be Baptized in the NAME of Jesus Christ (not in titles or trinity) 3) And if you do these two things, God promises you the gift of the Holy Spirit as you will speak with other tongues as a sign to you that you have received the Spirit of Christ.
Elisha
My name is Elisha Jancik if you want to email me, I’m at elishajancik@yahoo.com.
Why would anyone do that? More inane quotes from the bible?
hmm this sounds stupid….
a publisher is just someon who publish peoples books/works, and does not have to be obligated to be runned by any religious based company or exlude books from their sortiment unless they are officialy illegal to get distrebuted in the companys country or by the author i guess.
I bet the publisher is just one who does it’s work aka an money maker. Publish to sell and gain profitt.
I don’t realy kow anything of this company but I guess its either an normal book publisher or a publiser specialized in all religion based books even alternatives maybe.
In any case, I think you should not worry, since not everyone are satan follower nor will by their bibel just cause it exists.
And about gay sex, it’s a medical fact that men get “pleased” from stimulating certain spots on their own body.
And since your not gay you cant have feelings for another guy and therefor you don’t understand the feelings part more then say its not allowed by “your god”. etc etc.
Bottom line you suffer from homofobia, but don’t worry its threatable unlike haveing the sexual orientation as homosexual.
“Threathment’s” that’s been conducted and are still of those sorts are in-reliable and a very dangerous manipulation method often resulting in a bad sin such as suicide.
So if your one of those “healer” persons, I suggest you stick to the church and prey as much you can insteed of getting convicted for something involving manipulation/brainwashing etc people into suicide.
Also doing this fully knowing your might make them comitt suicide you have condamed yourself to hell aswell.
The best solution is just to learn to accept people are diffrent and everyone has the right to love another human person as they like more or less amoung adult people.
Back to topic:
A book wont be put of of sortiment if there is a need for it from buyers or for pure knowledge or librarys etc.
or just cause some religions based groupe of people say “we don’t aprove of this”
When it comes to the bibel its best for it to be released by an indipendant company of any religion I personaly belive.
Well i wound not by a book writen by fundamental people who can’t transelate the bibel from hewbrew to english or any other language 100%.
Hewbrew contains to many words it self to be 100% correct transelated I feel. Since I get a slight diffrent view of its content then reading the english version.
Mr Z you are obviously un educated in all aspects. maybe go learn how to spell then someone might listen to what you think sounds intelligent.
to all concerned
Christianity is based on belief/ faith… In our God without the need of scientific proof. This arguement will never be resolved due to people justifying their outlook with earthly wisdom. Its true many of Gods miricles and certain happinings of our Holy Bible cant be explained or proven because as we Christians believe they are devine. Non christians simply believe in the possible based on the restricted mortal/ earthly laws while us christians believe that with God the immpossible can be done.
I do however have one question to the non believers… What if you are wrong?
As a christian i strive to be a good moral man, should my faith be found to be incorrect i have still lived a good life as a good man, should i die i have no fear even if reincarnation were correct id comback at a higher level (not that im approving of that concept)and should i be correct in my belief system i will be accepted into heaven, however should you as a non believer be right with you assumption u would have nothing to fear but if your wrong? Is God and jesus is the way, the truth and the light what then???
No reply is needed
What if the Jehovah’s Witnesses are right? Or the Mormons? Or the Scientologists?
What if God will really judge us based on how nice we are to cockroaches, his true favored children?
Jesus saith unto him; I am the way the truth and the life, NO MAN cometh unto the father except by me. John 14:6 ( see also Proverbs 14:12 ).
Jesus is a real historical person. Believe Him. Don’t believe Him. For me, I believe. But sorry, I just dislike the NIV.
Levi, Elisha, Murphy..you guys are so right…you others who think that being a Christian..a follower of Christ is stupid…then you go on and play foolish…call the word of the Almighty God insanity and hilarious and you’ll find out on judgement day what insanity and hilarious is. And Steve…you asked Murphy if he can go without the use of the bible proof existence of God…then tell me…all you who think that we happened to be on earth through evolution…where there were some big explosion and we came from monkey…then tell me…HOW did this explosion happened to come about?? and didn’t the Lord had to create the manuscripts for the bible through His prophets and servants in order for us to know the truth of how we came about…and how we should live…if He didn’t then we’d all be doomed for hell by listening to the crap you men say..of how we existed through some explosion…PLEASE! God created you and all you people do is turn on Him..smh..
and didn’t the Lord had to create the manuscripts for the bible through His prophets and servants in order for us to know the truth of how we came about…and how we should live…if He didn’t then we’d all be doomed for hell by listening to the crap you men say
I think this may win the coveted “most circular argument ever” title!