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Seriously, wingnuts, you’ve got to stop this October 22, 2009

Posted by Evil Bender in Humor, wingnuts.
3 comments

Dear Wingnuts,

Please, please, please stop publishing lists of “Top Conservative ________.” Yes, they’re unintentionally hilarious, and yes, they’re misguided, and yes, their obsessive concern with ideological purity is creepily totalitarian. But that’s not why you should stop–if you stopped doing all those things, what would you feel countless pages at WingnutDaily and ClownHall? No, you need to stop because it’s been scientificially proven* that laughing too hard can cause one to “blow a funny fuse,” to use the technical term, and if I read one more of these lists, I won’t be able to laugh again for years.

Then I’d have no choice but to take you seriously, and frankly we both know you’re not up to that.

So please, stop publishing these lists. Do it for the laughter!

Kisses,

EB

*no it hasn’t.

Analogies that just don’t work: football and dogfighting edition October 12, 2009

Posted by Evil Bender in Morality, sports.
7 comments

So those of you with very strong stomachs can read this piece on “Football, dog fighting and brain damage,” which has a disturbing and important point to make about the substantial dangers football players face. That’s a worthwhile subject, and I wish everyone working to shed light on the dangers of the sport the best of luck.

But I have to say, I find the comparison to dog fighting which informs the essay to be repulsive. Malcolm Gladwell avoids making the implications of the comparison explicit, and carefully sidesteps drawing direct moral equivalence, but in my reading the implication is clear, and I don’t appear to be the only one.

So the question is, as Paul Campos asks, why is dog fighting more morally repugnant than football?

The answer, it seems to me, is simple: football involves adults who willingly engage in a high-risk livelihood. Dog fighting is a “sport” in which animals who have no choice are tortured for human amusement. Dog fighting is much more morally repugnant than football for the same reason gladiatorial contests would be. This isn’t just about level of potential injury, but about consent: professional athletes can give it, dogs cannot.

Before anyone suggests otherwise, I don’t mean to suggest that we shouldn’t do more to protect athletes, nor that football doesn’t present some morally difficult situations. But it is quite simply no comparison to an activity where powerless beings are tortured for the amusement of those with the power. Yes, I know we can perform a class and race analysis of football, and I’m open to that. But highly paid professionals taking risks with their own health is simply not comparable to the horrors dog fighting visits upon dogs.

Honestly, I thought this sort of distinction went without saying, at least among thinking people. Maybe I was wrong.

Reaction to Obama’s Nobel Peace Prize October 9, 2009

Posted by Evil Bender in Barack Obama, wingnuts.
1 comment so far

Everything I know I learned from J Grant Swank, Jr. October 9, 2009

Posted by Evil Bender in Barack Obama, Religion, wingnuts.
1 comment so far

All three regular followers of this blog probably know that shit like this is my beat. Honestly, though, I don’t have anything to say about it yet: it’s obviously not worth taking seriously, and parody of it is impossible. So I’ll continue to chuckle at it in peace, and turn my attention to Pastor J. Grank Swank, Jr. I’ve learned two key facts from him.

1) Proper grammar and punctuation are the devil’s playground.

2) Obama isn’t only a secret Marxist Muslim, but he’s also most definitely not a Christian:

He claims to be Christian, for example, while tramping all over biblical ethics. One cannot be a Christian while applauding abortion. One cannot be a Christian while sanctioning sodomy.

I think if I believed in the deity Swank claims to believe in, I’d be more cautious about making my own declarations of who gets to be Christian. While I’ll grant that his book makes some strange and apparently contradictory claims about salvation, I missed the passage where it says “only those who force women to give birth and snoop around other people’s bedrooms may enter the Kingdom of Heaven.” Maybe it’s in one of those minor prophets that no one reads.

Further, Obama as “Christian” does not know his Bible when telling inquirers during the presidential campaign to read the Sermon on the Mount to find out what Christ said about endorsing homosexual lifestyles. There is nothing whatsoever in Matthew 5-7 that refers to homosexuality.

Yeah, that stupid Obama! He doesn’t know what’s in the Sermon on the Mount. Oh, wait, what’s that?

Don’t worry, pastor Swank. I’m sure you’ll be absolved just as soon as the Conservative Bible becomes available. No doubt they’ll fix pesky passages like that one while they’re busy making the Bible pro-capitalist.

[h/t]

Wingnut, distilled to pure form October 1, 2009

Posted by Evil Bender in wingnuts.
1 comment so far

I give you Red State’s Erick Erickson, who is threatening to disband his police department rather than let police unionize.

Just toss that link to anyone who says wingnuts are about anything but helping the rich shit on everyone else.